Friday, January 29
Ees Friday night.
And I'm home, making pilaf and doing homework (that's code for "watching Hannah Montana reruns").
Boring? Maybe. Awesome? Yes.
I've been run run running. Maybe that's why Tuesday was such a bad day. I have no time to do anything but school and work and when I take some extra time to do something like go to the gym, I'm completely thrown off. Ugh.
So tonight I stay home. And maybe head to Jody's to watch a movie and do some quilting. And tomorrow I'm going to go to the library before my date (yes! I know! I got a date! Exciting!)
Have a relaxing weekend, little ones.
Thursday, January 28
So I have this weird thing...
I love sweets (this isn't the weird part). I love eating sweet, gooey, chocolatey things with sprinkles and such. I eat chocolate frosting straight from the container. I eat whole batches of cookies in a matter of hours. I carry around of giant Symphony bar in my purse/backpack (in case of dementors). But...
I hate cupcakes.
I mean, I like looking at them. They're cute and sweet and innocent. But there is something about them. I hate to eat them. Ick. I gag just thinking about it.
This is dumb and irrational.
So I have a plan. We are going to have a Cupcake Party. Everyone is going to bring a cupcake (or three) and we'll try them and decide which is the best. So pull out your best recipes. Pull out your decorating skills. We'll decorate some and have a contest. Let's be creative.
And there will be alternate desserts provided by me in case I really don't like cupcakes.
Sunday. My place. In lieu of game night. Everyone is invited. Email me if you don't know me but you still want to come and be my friend (no creepers, please.)
Every so often I have a day. You know the one I'm talking about. The one where it's too tough to get out of bed. The one where you don't get dressed. The one where you think about all the things you have to accomplish, and yet you still sit there and do nothing. The day where you can't find anything wrong with your life, yet nothing fits and everything seems terrible.
Maybe it's the weather causing you to feel this way. Maybe it isn't anything.
Whatever it is, I hate those days. And Tuesday happened to be one of them. Everything seemed wrong, yet it was all right on paper. Confusing. So I didn't do anything. I didn't get dressed. I didn't leave the house.
I'm looking for a cure. Maybe a bottled up dream or a cute boy to curl up and watch Disney movies with or Joshua Radin and cinnamon rolls.
Monday, January 25
It started to get annoying.
And then I started to think about it.
What do I do that makes me uncomfortable? What do I do that scares me?
The answer is nothing.
I like my comfort zone.
I stay in it perpetually.
Time for a new me.
Time to be someone that is not afraid of adventures or exciting things or new things.
Time to widen my horizons.
On Sunday, I studied with someone. I have never studied with someone before. I'm the kind of person who does a lot better learning alone. Or so I thought. But when a cute boy wants to study for religion class, you don't say no. And I loved it. I remember everything we went over, which is a first for me. I will studying with people more. Or just with cute boys more.
Monday I went to a 6:00 am spinning class. Need I say more? It hurt SO BAD! But it was worth it. I felt so good the rest of the day.
I will be spinning again.
Today I haven't decided what to do, but I promise to keep it up.
Pretty soon, I won't be scared of anything.
Saturday, January 23
This past Thursday, I went to see Moliere's Tartuffe for an English class assignment. (Which was awesome by the way, and you should go see it while it's still playing. Very Tim Burton-esque and very funny. Click here for tickets.) Coming out of the theatre, I was going to take a bus home. But then I noticed the wind. Oh, the wind! It was stunning, and large, and more beautiful than anything I've imagined! I felt as if something big was coming, something big and magical and stunning. The sound, the feeling, the everything! So good! So I walked the streets for hours that night (literally. Two hours.) And listened to all the big music on my ipod (I'm needing some more suggestions. I exhausted my supply of Narnia, Peter Pan, and Lord of the Rings soundtracks. Know any other big music?) Best. Night. Ever.
Two days later came the snow. And you guys know me. I hate the snow.
But not this time.
This time it was magical. This time it won my heart. This time I realized why so many people love winter. The hush, the swirling white that covers the world in beauty. Love. Love love love. Now I know another reason why I am in Utah. I needed to learn that this world is beautiful in all of its clothing. And I love it.
Today it is snowing again.
Thursday, January 21
Um, I forgot to mention that I reached my 500th post. Holy smokes! That is in some ways awesome, and in others, a little pathetic. What am I doing with my life besides blogging? Maybe it's time to take a little break. Or cut back or something. The problem is, I always have so much time in the summer to blog my heart out! Never mind, I'll start worrying when I reach 1,000 before next year.
I don't know if I've shared this before, but I've been thinking a lot about my own expectations. I can promise you that they almost never align with my reality. Which is usually fine, because I sometimes get really nice surprises. But lately I've been trying to figure out how I can make my expectations and reality line up. The solution is to be bold. And to not be disappointed when it doesn't work.
Wednesday, January 20
Tuesday, January 19
Sean mentioned it and got me thinking again.
Quick run down, Joel loves Clementine. Clementine loves Joel. The relationship runs its course and ends badly. So Clementine has a procedure that erases Joel from her memory. Joel gets mad and has the same procedure.
I'm not going to ruin the rest of the movie for you (my LDS friends, it is so worth getting edited), but I want to think about it for a bit longer.
Would you erase someone?
I've been pondering this. Is there someone out there that just hurt you too badly? That you still feel overwhelming sadness and regret when they cross your mind? Do you want to keep those memories? Or forget them forever?
I've decided that I want those memories. They are a part of who I am. I never want to forget, even if it hurts. Because I learned so much about relationships, about who I am, and about what I want from life. We're supposed to learn and grow. How could I learn and grow without the hard stuff, as well as with the good?
What do you think?
On Sunday, I started questioning my major. I know that my education is important and that there is a need for my personal talents out there. But is Public Relations really what I need to be doing? Is it really going to help people? How? I just assumed that I would eventually work for a PR agency. But if I'm supposed to be helping people, how would that pan out?
I honestly know nothing about them. But when somebody mentioned them yesterday, I realized that maybe I am doing what I'm supposed to.
And if that doesn't work out, I can always write a book. Right?
The dementors still hadn't left from yesterday.
And I had exhausted my supply of chocolate.
As I dragged myself out of bed and out the door, I wished for a little bit of sunshine.
One hour and forty minutes later, as I walked out of my Public Relations class, the sun was brightly shining.
My patronus had worked.
The air was a warm 48 degrees and the wind was blowing its sweet breath on my face.
Thank you, January, for surprising me in such a nice way.
After I came home from a brilliant night of broomball for FHE and some indulging television with H-Face, I found myself to be in a questionable mood. Somewhat nervous, a little restless, and a lot lonely. Does anyone have remedies for such feelings? What do you like to do when you're feeling a bit like you're stuck in a jar?
Saturday, January 16
1. A Zooey/Taza type cut/color. It might be a bit too dark, but I love the cut.
(Taza sells those cute headbands. Check it out! And all proceeds are going to help Haiti right now.)
2. Ok similar cut, different color. Better? 3. Or should I go lighter and embrace my curls?
Curious as to your thoughts.
Thursday, January 14
I know this is morbid, but this picture just reminded me. Have you seen Phantom of the Opera? You know that graveyard? I want to be buried in a graveyard like that. None of those boring rows and rows of headstones. I know that when I die, I won't care. But for now, I want something regal and majestic. And just think how cool it will be at the resurrection to rise up next to amazing people? Because, let's be honest, only amazing people could possibly be buried in a graveyard like that. Famous poets, composers, and kings. I am absolutely sure of it. But I suppose that means I will have to do something great before I die. For a plot there? Consider it done.
After yet another run in with someone about midwifery/natural childbirth, let me state my opinion and then I promise to leave it alone if you do.
I believe that my body was made to bear children. I do not believe that birth is a medical emergency, but a natural process that does not require labor management or intervention unless there is a medical reason to do so (aka unless there's something really wrong). The end.
Wednesday, January 13
Monday, January 11
Saturday, January 9
I'm having a dead closet week. I don't know what to wear. And I have tons of clothes. I think it has something to do with Winter. Fall and Spring are my favorite, because they are temperate enough for me to wear anything at all. But January has left my wardrobe cold and lifeless. I would go lay on the grass in my prom dress, because it looks like that would help, but there's that darn snow all over the ground. Does someone want to come dress me? Someone with the style of Zooey, so I can stop wasting 30 minutes staring at my clothes before falling into the old regulars? Help me, please.
And while we're talking about clothes, check out this amazing lady! I might copy her in the next few months. How awesome is that?
Thursday, January 7
Wednesday, January 6
Tuesday, January 5
Saturday, January 2
We call them piggy pockets.
Sam and I have been busy at work today. I taught him how to crochet. And while I could be making something like a scarf or a hat, Mr. Snuggles is old and in love with his new guinea pig hide-a-way. So that is what Sam and I are doing today.
Friday, January 1
I can't wait to see what this year is going to bring. Last year brought me a lot of happiness and tons of learning. Maybe this year will bring fun, love, and adventures. 2010 is going to be good. I feel it in my bones.
Let's go back in time and review my goals from last year.
1. Read scriptures and pray every day:
I didn't really start this one strong until September, but then I took off. And it was good. Boy did I notice a difference in myself! I was so much happier and nicer! I most certainly slipped up and forgot some days. But I'm going to keep this one. It's good.
2. Make straight A's:
Really? I thought I could pull this one off? Last winter was an epic failure and this semester might have been awesome if it wasn't for American Heritage. I am going to retake that class and ACE IT! This semester is going to be a good one. Straight A's. I mean it.
3. Be healthy:
YAY! I succeeded with flying colors! Not only did I drink tons of water, eat my meals and all my veggies, but I went rock climbing a lot last winter, fell in love with repelling this semester, and began training for a triathlon. Woop woop!
So for this year, I've got to think up some good goals...
1. Straight A's.
I'm really going to do it. I am, I am.
2. Complete a triathlon
On my way! It's coming.
3. Plan and execute an adventure.
Whether it's that cargo ship for 50 days or a road trip across the country or a trip to another country, I'm going to do it.
What are your goals for this year?