Overheard

I have had several jobs in the past year where the kids say the funniest things.
I have had to exercise the strongest self restraint to keep from laughing.

This is me with the people on my current shift.
You can tell how serious we are, riiiight?
No wonder we love these silly kids so much.
We get along so well.

Nurse: ...and then they will give you a sonogram
Girl: But I don't need a sonogram! I am not pregnant! I know I am fat and it looks like pregnant, but it isn't!



Girl #1: I've decided that I don't think you and {boy} shouldn't be together anymore. I think he should be with {coworker I don't care for}.
Girl #2: What?? He can't be with her! She is so much older than him!
Me: How old do you think {boy} and {coworker I don't care for} are?
Girl #2: He's like, 19 and she's like, 40.
{They are both in their early 20s}



Boy: When I'm king of the world, I will destroy all of you. Except for Tim. I will spare Tim.



Boy: Are you quitting because we say dirty things about you behind your back?
Me: No. I didn't actually know you did that.
Boy: It's because you're hot and we are all horny teenage boys.



Boy: Help! Save me from the staff! Start a rebellion! If you do, I will make you a famous rap star!