I know that you think this is about dating because you know me, but it actually isn't. Despite the not-dating setting off these thoughts.

For awhile, Everything was going great.

I had Everything I wanted.

Not that it wasn't hard sometimes, but I wanted that, too.

I've never wanted things to be easy and just handed to me.

So, not easy, but great!

Then Things happened.

And it was great.

But Everything fell apart.

But that was ok, because of Things.

But then Things broke.

Beyond repair, it felt like.

Then Other Things happened.

Good things.

Other Things that put me back together again.

But there were still a lot of cracks.

Broken beyond repair, it felt like.

Then those Other Things started falling apart, too.

Not in the same way at all.

But they certainly tugged at all those cracks.

And now I am sitting here feeling like I am left with nothing.

I know that isn't true.

But most everything important to me is not really around.

I still have what counts, I suppose.

But I am at a point in my life where Those Things just are enough.

I need the Other Things.

But the Other Things are being awfully elusive.

And as spending time with a friend tonight was interrupted and I quickly became the seventh wheel (yes, that's right, seventh. In a matter of 5 minutes.) I started to really feel the gap left by those Other Things.

And I want Everything back.

But I do not know how to get it.

So be patient with me while I find it, ok?